


Bent, yet not Broken

by CedarCeres



Category: Twenty One Pilots
Genre: Deaf Character, Depression, Disability, Emotional Abuse, M/M, Past Sexual Assault, Recovery, Trans Character, mute character, past sexual harrassment
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-09-13
Updated: 2016-09-13
Packaged: 2018-08-14 22:31:53
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,262
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8031490
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CedarCeres/pseuds/CedarCeres
Summary: He never spoke of it, not once. In fact, he rarely spoke ever again.





	Bent, yet not Broken

**Author's Note:**

> My first work on this account. I hope you enjoy it! Beware: This is very loosely edited, so forgive my grammar mistakes if I missed some.

“Tyler, we've been working on this for months now.”   
  
He doesn't look at her. He picks at his fingers instead and gnaws on his bottom lip. He wants her to leave him alone.   
  
“You even told me a few things last session. We can do this if you actually try to, like last time.”   
  
He can feel her eyes burning into him. He can tell she's getting frustrated with him. He could care less. He hates her, he hates her, he hates her.   
  
“Tyler, are you even listening? Please look at me.”   
  
He clenches his hands together. He trembles. “Fuck. Off.”   
  
His palms are bleeding. His face is wet. He hates her, he hates her, he hates her.   
  
***   
  
Tyler locks himself in his room once his mother drives him home from the therapist’s office. She is very upset with him. She yells at him the entire way back.   
  
“What do you have to say for yourself!?” She shrieks. “Shes trying to help you, and you refuse to get help when you obviously need it! Dr. Kessler is trying to help you be...be  _ normal _ ! I will not let you live like, like this!”   
  
Tyler wants to scream back at her. He wants to tell her to fuck off to. But he doesn't.He picks at the skin on his thumb and chews on the inside of his cheek. He pretends not to listen to her stinging words. He hates her, he hates her, he hates her. He knows his silence irritates her the most.   
  
His laptop is old. He can't do much on it anymore, but he loves it. It is his friend. He doesn’t have many of those.   
  
Instead of going on tumblr immediately after booting it up, Tyler brings up a tab and checks his email. He has a single email from one of his only friends, Mark. His heart skips a beat he sees it; He knows exactly why it’s there, even if Mark forgot to fill out the subject. It’s about the apartment he was looking into, and Mark has finally found a suitable roommate for him.   
  
Tyler had brought up the idea of moving out to Mark about a month ago when Mark had come to visit. Mark was floored. He immediately offered help with finding a job, a good apartment, and a roommate. He knew Tyler’s mother and her strange, dictating relationship with him. Tyler had cried and thanked him over and over and over. Tyler cries a lot. He has good reasons to.   
  
He opens the email, which when they are from Mark, they always begin with, “ _ hey tyjo!:-)” _ He likes that. The entire thing is in all lowercase letters too, which is something that Tyler himself does all the time. He likes that as well.   
  
“ _ so i found you what could be a really suitable roommate for you _ ,” The email reads, “ _ but you can be the judge of that though. the guy sent me a whole thing about himself, and i won’t spoil anything for you. hope you like him :-) _ ”   
  
Tyler scrolls down to see a small pdf file, which he downloads immediately. He converts it to a google doc and pulls it up moments later. The person who wrote this is obviously trying to be as friendly as possible.   
  
The guy’s name is Josh. He’s twenty, like Tyler. He goes to a university close to the apartment they’re planning to move into, where he’s studying biology. He has a part time job at an animal shelter nearby too, and thought it’d be a good idea to move closer to where most of his life took place, but he didn’t have enough money. Tyler likes him.   
  
But the thing that sticks out the most to him the most is the fact that Josh is hearing impaired. Not deaf, but very hard of hearing. He also adds in that there will be days that he won’t want to hear anything at all, and so he takes his hearing aids off on those days. Tyler understands. He really does.   
  
Tyler writes back to Mark after he reads through the whole thing.   
  
_ i’d love to meet him, he sounds great. Send me his email when you aren’t busy :) _   
  
***   
  
Tyler used to believe that there was good in the world. That the majority of people were good and could do no evil. He didn’t believe in deception or manipulation, nor did he believe that people who did bad things were bad people. He believed they could be good.   
  
He wore his hair longer back then. His mother would coo over him and curl it when they were going to church. He was a model for all the other children in his Sunday School class, and he always helped everyone who needed it. That’s why he would stay after and help the priest set up for a new day at the church.   
  
He thinks that’s why he lost his virginity so young.   
  
He believed that everyone was good, especially the priest. He could do no wrong in Tyler’s book.   
  
That’s why he never told anyone when the priest let his hands roam all over him.   
  
He remembers the time is virginity was taken clearly. The priest covered his mouth and told him to shut up, shut up, shut up. To never tell anyone. Never, ever, ever. To never speak of this for as long as he lived.   
  
Tyler didn’t. He never spoke of it, not once. In fact, he rarely spoke ever again.   
  
When he met Mark, his muteness didn’t bother him at all. Mark was the first person to tell him that it was ok. That he didn’t need to speak to be friends with him.   
  
Josh is the second.   
  
They’d arranged a meeting together at a local restaurant after Mark gave him Josh’s email. Josh and he live closer than he originally thought.   
  
Tyler’s immediate thought when he sees Josh for the first time is that Josh is beautiful. He wears a black beanie that covers most of his bubblegum pink hair and the top half of his ears. Tyler understands.   
  
Josh is shaped like a friend. He’s all smiles and understanding. He even writes on the notebook Tyler brought so they could talk instead of signing, which would obviously be easier for Josh than writing out everything he wants to say.   
  
_ so you really don’t mind that I’ll probably never speak to you _ ? Tyler writes at one point.   
  
_ Why would I? there’s no reason to judge _ , Josh replies, and Tyler cries. Josh gets him tissues.   
  
Tyler explains that he doesn’t have a job after he calms down, nor does he go to college. Josh doesn’t mind. He even offers help finding him a job, and Tyler almost cries again.   
  
_ I know a girl who works at a flower shop who could use some help. Her name is Jenna, and she knows ASL if you need it _   
  
Tyler smiles and smiles and smiles. He doesn’t cry this time. He wants to though.   
  
Josh and him agree to meet again next week for coffee to discuss more. Tyler can’t wait to see each other. They exchange numbers and share a hug before Josh drops him off at the local park, where he walks home.   
  
Not even his mother demanding to know where he went and why he didn’t tell her can wipe the smile for his face.   
  
***   
  
“So I heard that you went out without your mother knowing,” Dr. Kessler says. She taps her pen on  her notebook. “Where’d you go? Did anything good happen?”   
  
Tyler gnaws at his lip. Its bleeds soon after, and his tongue swipes out to lap at the newly formed cut. He doesn’t say anything. He knows that she wants him to speak again. Tyler curses his past self for speaking at all. He thinks about Josh. Tomorrow, he will sneak out again to see him in the city where his friend works.   
  
“Come on Tyler. You can tell me.”   
  
Tyler says nothing. She lets out a frustrated sigh and scribbles down on her notebook. He wants to smile smugly this time. But he doesn’t. He simply sits and picks at his fingers, like he always does.   
  
Tyler's mother is disappointed in him. She asks God why her child is so messed up in the head while they drive to the place Tyler refuses to call home anymore. Tyler hates her.   
  
***   
  
It’s seven in the morning when Tyler creeps out of the house and walks to the park. It’s the beginning of September,  and to his relief, things are starting to cool off. He wears a large black hoodie that pools around his hands. It’s big and comfy, and Tyler loves it.   
  
When he arrives, Josh texts him and tells him that he’s running a little late. Tyler quickly sends him an ‘ _ it’s ok i’ll wait _ ’, and he plops on the bench and opens up his tumblr app. His dash is mostly made up of aesthetic posts and music, with an occasional drawing or funny picture thrown in. He loves the drawings especially, though. They make him happy, no matter how bad or good it is.   
  
He reblogs a few just as he gets a text from Josh that states he's here Tyler smiles and shoves his phone into the pocket of his skinny jeans. There's an old silver Honda Civic behind the bench that he sits on, and an unmistakable tuft of bubblegum pink hair that he spots through the window. Tyler gets up and signs a quick ‘ _ Hello _ ’ to Josh as he gets into his car. Josh grins at him.   
  
_ ready to go _ ? Josh signs with a seamless fluidity to his hands.   
  
Tyler nods. He gnaws at his lip. Josh’s smile becomes softer, comforting. Tyler stops biting. And then, they’re off.   
  
***   
  
Jenna is pretty, sweet and friendly. She smells like the flowers that have most definitely made their home within her soft blonde locks, and like Josh, she is shaped like a friend.   
  
She is the third person to tell Tyler that it was ok that he didn’t speak. Tyler almost cries again. She offers decent pay and friendship, and Tyler is happy to receive both.   
  
Josh has to leave a little bit after they get there for his shift, and Tyler is happy to stay with Jenna for a few hours. She gives him a tour around the place and teaches him out to make a proper bouquet from three different arrays of flowers. Her delicate fingers place a striking red hibiscus blossom behind his ear. He loves it.   
  
Jenna also takes him to get some coffee, where they talk more about their lives. Jenna tells him a little bit about her childhood as they burn their mouths with expensive coffee. The city is scary, but he could get used to this.   
  
Josh takes Tyler home after his shift is over. Jenna gives them both a hug before they leave. Tyler smiles and smiles and smiles.   
  
***   
  
His mother explodes at him when he comes home. Tyler doesn’t care, but he does at the same time.   
  
“You are being absolutely ridiculous. I am your mother, and I know what’s best for you!” She screams.   
  
She’s so wrong. He hates her, he hates her, he hates her.   
  
“No you don’t,” He whispers. “No you don’t.”   
  
His mother stops in her tracks. She is flabbergasted. This was the first time she’d heard his voice in ten long years.   
  
“What?” She asks, voice hushed.   
  
Hot tears well up in Tyler’s eyes. He’s glad that his siblings aren’t home at this very moment. His voice is raspy from lack of use.   
  
“You don’t know me.” Tyler croaks. His voice is raising for the first time in years. “You never even tried. I’ve had enough.”   
  
Tyler runs out the door. He runs and runs and runs.   
  
He pretends not to hear screaming for his presence. She uses a dead name, after all.   
  
***   
  
Tyler texts Josh as he hides under the bright maroon slide at the park. He’s sobbing, little noises escaping his windpipes.   
  
_ please please can you pick me up from the park _ __  
__  
__ im underneath the slide pleas e josh im begging you i have nowhere to go   
  
Josh is there in ten minutes. He crawls underneath the slide and hugs Tyler tight, hugs Tyler tighter than anyone ever had. He cries and cries and cries. Josh never lets go.   
  
***   
  
Tyler blocks his mother’s number as soon as Josh takes him to his house. He has never hated someone more.   
  
Josh’s mother is warm and kind, not hesitating to make sure Tyler is at home. She fusses over him and gives him something to eat before they retreat down the stairs. Josh’s siblings are curious. They remind him of his own siblings.   
  
They sit and watch tv downstairs once they both change into a pair of pajamas. Tyler’s borrowed pj bottoms and sweatshirt smell of Josh. It makes him feel a little better. Josh makes him feel safe.   
  
Tyler cuddles up close to Josh. Josh has taken out his hearing aids. He curls an arm around Tyler, and they stay like that for a while, reading the subtitles on the screen. Nobody bothers them.   
  
It’s a little bit past one in the morning when they curl up together on the air bed that Josh’s mother prepared for them. Josh tentatively puts his arms around him again, which Tyler quickly returns. It doesn't take very long for Josh to fall asleep. Tyler listens to Josh's slow breathing for a long time before he's able to doze off.   


**Author's Note:**

> Comments and Kudos are always appriciated. Thank you for reading. Also, a huge thanks to @edyluewho on tumblr. They have helped me a lot with everything, and their works are definitely worth checking out!


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